What Do I Do Now?

I thought I had it sorted

On Friday 25^th April 2025 my seventh solo album “House Of Stories” reached #2 in the Official UK Independent Albums Chart.

I recorded and released the album from my attic home studio The Launchpad in Nottingham through emails, social media posts and Facebook ads. No manager/label/press/radio.

This sort of thing shouldn’t really be possible. Music fans are absolutely amazing.

The next day I walked out of an art workshop in floods of tears and stood by a lake watching a Eurasian Coot dive for treasure to make a nest with. The plucky little bird dove and dove, bringing up all sorts of interesting bits and bobs clasped in its beak. A slice of slippery algae, bright green; a thin branch three times its width; a clot of unidentified mush dripping with water. Sure in its choices, the bird added each new piece of treasure to a floating mass, then swam away in a big circle, returning to dive - collect - add, dive - collect - add.

I was fully aware of the metaphor at the time, but it didn’t get me back inside the building.

I wasn’t ready to dive back into my memories to create a map for an art workshop, however engaging and fun the facilitator was (and she was), and however supportive the environment was (and it was). The well was empty of stories; I had only tears to give.

I didn’t want to make a scene, so I left quietly to cry it out, calm down and return to class. But I couldn’t calm down, and I couldn’t return.

Younger Me would have been horribly embarrassed; Current Day Me knows when she’s in the wrong place and gets out as fast as possible, as politely as possible. Current Day Me does not hide the tears. Current Day Me cannot hide the tears.

The Sleeper song “What Do I Do Now?” popped into my head when I started thinking about writing this, even though only the title is relevant. It’s a brilliant song, much loved to this day by me, but I’m lucky that being stuck in a bad or confusing relationship is not my current experience.

Gratitude is a helpful emotion to centre at times like these.

My current experience is a mix of emotions. I’m not trying too hard to figure it out; it feels smarter to just let the feelings wash over and through me while trying to get back into good healthy habits and making semi-sensible plans for future creativity.

I don’t know if there are any songs about this particular feeling of post-big-project comedown, because whenever I’m in one I’m not really up for writing a song about it and, later on, in reflective songwriting mood, I can already project that I will find the topic far too mundane / indulgent / entitled to reference.

After the Big Chart News I had some dinner at home and went to bed. I had been sleeping terribly in the weeks leading up to the album release, which is very unusual for me, and that may have influenced what happened with the art workshop and the incessant crying.

I felt much better when the requirement to suddenly create something new was removed. Tim took me home and we sat on the sofa together. The following week we went on holiday to Naples, and had our minds blown by the busy, colourful, gritty city.

Now I’m back, somewhat rested, and I have to keep going. Because that’s the goal.

I make music and share it so I can keep making music. I make videos and I write to share my experiences as part of my creative practice, which is what drives me to continue making music.

It’s weird how you can focus so intensely on something for so long – in this case a full year, pretty much – and then it feels so suddenly over and done with. The album only came out four weeks ago, and it did really, amazingly well, but now it feels like there’s zero interest in the new songs, everyone’s moved on to something else, and I have to quickly summon up new things to share.

Of course I don’t have to do anything¹ – but as an artist I get to do whatever I feel like doing. And that’s a gift, and I am grateful.

I last wrote a new song last July - “Space, Man”. I don’t want to let it be a full year til I write another one. So, I won’t!

It’s time to don the lab coat again for musical experiments. And this is where you will hear them first.

And if you haven’t heard “House Of Stories” yet, I made this nerdy microsite to introduce it to you.

Thank you for reading.

Love,
Laura xxx

1. I mean, I do – this dream job is my only job, and I have to continually figure out how to keep making ends meet, and that’s not always a given – in this context I mean no-one is forcing me to make songs or market them and it’s a great privilege to get to do so x