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Caroline in the Garden's avatar

this is a beautiful tribute. i’m so sorry for your loss, but the tattoos look so good though ❤️

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Laura Kidd 💌 Penfriend's avatar

Ha thanks!

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mister snappy's avatar

Sounds like you’ll do meaningful things to keep your grabs memory alive. Tattoos, songs, anything that connects. I do things like that for my parents. I have a chuckle about what they would say too. May her memory be a blessing.

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Laura Kidd 💌 Penfriend's avatar

Thank you xx

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Lord Rossman's avatar

Oh, Laura, what a wonderful thing to share. I wasn't close to my grandparents, but that's exactly how i felt about my dad when he died a few years ago. The regret is the same - why did i never record our chats? At that age they love to talk about the past - well, they remember it more than the present!

I'm so glad that you could say you loved each other. My dad never could ... he was of that generation where men didn't. But he was also clearly AuDHD, as am I, so didn't "do" emotions. So he relied on actions so we know.

You'll miss your gran, but you have that final act of love and a happy memory, which is so important. Now you have those beautiful butterflies as a lasting memory "for life".

Maybe this made you cry again? I won't say i'm sorry, because tears are cathartic - it's made me cry again too and i don't do it enough - they help to ease the pain & we feel better afterwards. Instead, i'll say "Thank you" ... thank you for your wonderful words, which helped me too.

My last visit with my dad, he was in hospital - he hated it. He hated needing help. He hated getting old & being infirm. He didn't enjoy physical contact & wasn't a hugger. When i left, i put my hand on his shoulder and said, "Look after yourself". It seems he took my words to heart, because he died the next day.

Perhaps it was the permission he needed, to be able to let go. I hope so.

I don't remember him ever saying he loved me and i'm not convinced i ever told him either. But we both knew and i think we didn't need the words. He too went peacefully. I miss him.

I don't know why i've written all that, so i'm sorry for unloading. I realised i'd never put these thoughts into words before and frightened if i delete them, i won't write them again.

Thank you for making me think.

I'll see you tomorrow in the pub (people!!! 😱) and looking forward to a memorable show.

🫂♥️x

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Laura Kidd 💌 Penfriend's avatar

No apologies needed, thank you for sharing xx

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Documentally's avatar

♥️

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Julia's avatar

A lovely piece and and a wonderful tribute to a woman who loved and was loved. xx

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Katherine Harrison's avatar

I'm so sorry for your loss, Laura, and I really loved reading your memories of her and your visits.

I found this piece very comforting. I lost my Gran a few years back and although we weren't able to spend as much time together as either of us would have liked, I did know when I made the last visit that it was the last visit, if that makes sense. I also have the reassuring knowledge that she never forgot who I was, in fact one of my favourite memories of that last visit was that I was holding her hand but she was uncomfortable in bed, so the nurses tried to help her to get more comfy but she was not for letting go of my hand under any circumstances. "That's still my Gran! Can't make her do anything she doesn't want to do!", I remember saying, and we all laughed.

I love the tattoo and I'm so glad for her (and for you!) that you got it. Sending love for these times, they are hard for sure.

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Dan Thomas's avatar

Laura, this is so beautiful. I read your writing and I really feel like I’m there and can see you and your Nan in the care home. I can feel the warmth from the pair of you. And I can feel all of those complicated emotions you describe towards the end.

Needless to say, I had a little cry reading this.

Thank you SO much for sharing this. As trite and cliched as it sounds, my heart goes out to you.

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The S.O.J.'s avatar

Sad times indeed.

Memories will always last.

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hippo fait des trucs's avatar

❤️‍🩹

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Rachel M Cournoyer's avatar

Laura, this was such a beautiful tribute, and story. Your Gran had a full, adventurous life, and it seems like she passed that on to you! Sending you and your family lots of love during this time. And I’m sure your Gran would love your tattoos as well❤️🫂

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