This is a song about wrestling with mortality. I spent a lot of time alone in my car, driving from Nottingham to Warrington and back (and back, and back again), thinking about the meaning we make of other people, ourselves and the things we choose to (and don’t choose to) spend our time on.

Isn’t that so human?!

I wrote this song last month and recorded it right away, but couldn’t find the right chorus for a while. Third time lucky, and I ended up using the first two choruses at the end of the song because I like how they reveal different layers to what we say (and what we don’t say) out loud.

The working title was “Crossfire” until two days ago, when I redid all the main vocals for this version of the song. I like the name “An Emergency” but the main refrain is “So Human”, so I reserve the right to make a decision on this later!

LYRICS

I’m caught in the crossfire again
It doesn’t feel safe to listen
I’m measuring hours to spend
Time used to feel like a friend

Isn’t it so, isn’t it so human?
Isn’t it so, isn’t it so human?

Emotion’s making room for an emergency
We crash towards our own unhappy ending
I’m trying to believe the words I say mean something

Isn’t it so human?
Isn’t it so human?

So cute in the crosshairs, aren’t we?
Assuming responsibility
Like anything we say could change things as much as it should

Isn’t it so, isn’t it so human?
Isn’t it so, isn’t it so human?
Isn’t it so, isn’t it so human?

Emotion’s making room for an emergency
We crash towards our own unhappy ending
I’m trying to believe the words I say mean something
(I’d settle for a minute, for an hour, for a scrap of your time)

Isn’t it so human?
Isn’t it so human?

Emotion’s making room for an emergency
We crash towards our own unhappy ending
I’m trying to believe the words I say mean something

I’d settle for a minute, for an hour, for a scrap of a day
(I’d like to dance forever in these arms)
I’d settle for a minute, for an hour, for an afternoon
(I’d love to stay forever in these arms)
I’d settle for a minute, for an hour, for a scrap of your time
(Please let me rest forever in these open arms)

I’m trying to believe that what I do means something

Subscribers, you can stream and download the track below the break.

Love,
Laura xxx

PS visit the Par Avion collection here to grab all the music and member-only videos so far

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No, not you. I wish YOU all the best!

However, the James Bond of Par Avion songs is here (007...!), and no it’s not an April Fool’s thing. It’s funny (to me, and maybe to you) but it’s not a joke.

While my songs tend to veer more towards the peace and love side of things (or at least the “life is complicated, let’s try and be generous where possible” side of things), occasionally we all need to vent. I wrote “I Wish You All The Worst” in October 2023 about someone very specific who will forever remain nameless (no, you don’t know them!), and it’s so fun to sing in the general direction of big baddies in the world that I wanted to share it with you.

I recently watched St Vincent’s “Masterclass” episodes and she said something that really stuck with me. She talked about “hearing beyond the demo”, which is just such a great way of describing what I have always been able to do with even the scratchiest of song ideas.

I don’t know if it’s something that can be done by anyone other than the songwriter, but in case it is I hear this song sitting in a cosy group with “I’ll Start A Fire”, “I Want My Country Back” and the long-lost but never forgotten “V For Vendetta”. It’s going to be bouncy!

Paid subscriber? Listen to/download the track below the break. Thank you for making this music possible!

Free subscriber? Seven secret songs await you inside…

Not subscribed yet? Thanks for reading!

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Love,
Laura xxx

PS visit the Par Avion collection here to grab all the music and member-only videos so far

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A brand new (and hopefully uplifting) song about trying to get through the depths of winter. In mid-January I just couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me...anyone else?

I’ve always wanted to write a song where the lines flow cleverly into one another, so this set of lyrics makes me happy.

“I’m Not Fine” – Penfriend, March 2026

Did you see they stole the summer sun?
Every year they get a–
Way before the gloaming has begun
But still waters do run–
Deep in the clutch of winter time
I’ll act like I’m okay
But I’m not fine

Sickened by our own technology
Floating high above our(selves)
Selfish bodies bend so couldn’t we
Just put a stop to S.A.-
D–ebrief the season, let it bite
I’m not leaving this bed without a fight
I can’t tell if it’s morning or it’s nine
I’ll act like I’m okay
But I’m not fine

Debrief the season, let it bite
I’m not leaving this bed without a fight
I can’t tell if it’s morning or it’s nine
I’m dreaming of the day the sun will shine

Subscribers, you can listen to and download the track below the break.

Love,
Laura xxx

PS visit the Par Avion collection here to grab all the music and member-only videos so far

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I’m thrilled to share this with members today, and my weekly writing is returning very soon for all.

You may notice I’ve tweaked the name of my Substack blog as well, I forgot to include my artist name before which is a bit strange and unhelpful!

From the zine...“I don’t remember exactly how old I was when I first read the phrase PAR AVION, but I was younger than 5. White on blue; perforated paper with a shiny back; tear gently then lick to stick. An exotic monster; two words inviting adventure.

A highly prized childhood possession of mine was a shoebox stuffed with leaflets and used envelopes. “Junk mail” didn’t exist for me, yet. I added to my collection whenever I could, patting the papers into the box and pushing it under my bed for safekeeping.

Later, my Dad sent overseas for work, PAR AVION labels were licked and fixed onto letters and packages. AIRMAIL. I pictured wings sprouting from brown cardboard, flapping bravely above choppy waters...”

Track listing:

1. See You Soon – Par Avion 001
2. Shouting At Clouds – Par Avion 002
3. Forgive Me – Par Avion 003
4. I See Stars – Par Avion 004
5. This Day Of The Year – Par Avion 005
6. Voicemail – 12/25 (12 min walk and talk plus early demo snippets)
7. Shouting At Clouds INSTRUMENTAL
8. I See Stars INSTRUMENTAL

Keep reading for download links for all 8 tracks plus the full colour words and photos zine.

This bundle is available in very limited edition physical form as well, if you’d like a copy just visit this page and select any tier from ACE AMIGO up.

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A song to remember the ones we’ve loved and lost.

I started writing this song over the Christmas break on my shonky yet beloved £80 upright piano. An important date was fast approaching: the first 18th January since 1930 that my Gran, Julia, wouldn’t be present for.

“This day of the year will always be your happy birthday” was a line that fell out fully formed, and the story continued from there. It’s a very personal song for me, but I know it’ll strike a chord with listeners and so I am sending you my love along with this track.

The songs I’m sharing for the Par Avion project wouldn’t exist without my subscribers. I used to write my albums in big, stressful, somewhat hair-raising blocks of time, but since October 2025 I’ve been trying a different approach.

Par Avion is a secret album that’s taking shape month by month, and I’m delighted to say this is already track 5!

Some of these songs will appear in some form on my next public Penfriend album, and I can’t tell you how satisfying it is to have become a songwriter who finishes things quickly versus leaving ideas languishing on hard drives and in voice memos for years before completing them. Whatever way songs are made, it doesn’t really matter, but this new way of working feels very exciting to me.

THANK YOU.

Subscribers, you can download the track below the break. Video coming shortly (I’m a little behind on those due to LIFE). Weekly free posts resume soon, too!

Love,
Laura xxx

PS visit the Par Avion collection here to grab all the music and member-only videos so far

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Some spacey optimism for the New Year.

On the last day of my tour supporting Thea Gilmore I had my lovely friend Charlie’s living room all to myself, and I hung out on her sofa with Roxy the cat enjoying a bit of quiet. I’d taken my Telepathic Instruments Orchid on the road with me in case I had some down time, so I grabbed it from my suitcase and made a synthy loop. I added some effected drums from the Orchid as well, recorded separately so I could layer everything up in The Launchpad later.

I had planned to write a vocal loop song on the Boss RC-600 I was sent a couple of weeks ago to test, but managed to talk myself out of setting everything up several times over the break. I started a ukulele song recently that I thought I should finish instead.

On Monday 29th December I felt ready to tackle track 4 of this project, but I wasn’t feeling up for ascending to the attic, so I sat in my office and lazily opened up Logic on my laptop. The Orchid recording was the last project saved...I didn’t even remember what it sounded like til I pressed play, and immediately it was clear I had to do something with it.

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Sometimes it’s guitar time.

It’s guitar time.

I got the idea for this song at the end of May. On the way to the gym one morning, I spotted the title scrawled on a green door on the edge of an industrial area, and the phrase stuck with me. The next time I had a guitar in my hand I came up with the verse riff and the first bits of the melody, recorded a voice memo so I’d be able to come back to it later, and continued rehearsing for my Nottingham show. No distractions allowed!

A few weeks later I was jogging down the same street, so I stopped and snapped this photo in case anything came of the voice memo:

I started working on this in mid-November, spending a whole morning trying to think of an angle for the song, prior to getting stuck into the music. Who is the “me” in the song and what do they want to be forgiven for?

I made a lot of notes that I immediately chucked in the metaphorical bin once I got up to The Launchpad and started putting together the music. I started thinking about the idea of the physical body being ignored in favour of living life online, started reading about astral projection (hence “subtle body”) and pondered these very Black Mirror concepts as I worked on putting two different musical ideas together and seeing if I could make them work: the “forgive me” riff and a separate voice memo chorus idea in a different time signature.

You know me, I love that sort of thing, and it was immensely satisfying to hear the song building up over the course of three days. I managed to finish off the lyrics the day before going on holiday with no devices (!), thanks to a conversation I had with a furniture removal man about “ophiocordyceps unilateralis” – that’s where the “parasitic takeover” line came from.

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This song didn’t exist 5 days ago, and I will never not be blown away by the magic of making stuff up...especially when there’s a hard deadline!

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Introducing....the first song in my new Par Avion project!

A new song sent to you on the first of the month by your Penfriend, with accompanying longform process video.

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